


Via Vitae

by SteveTrevorsStarship



Series: We May Not Have It All Together (But At Least We Have Together) [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: But he meets dad so its ok, Canon Temporary Character Death, Crew as Family, Gen, Jim ded, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Tarsus IV, Warp core
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveTrevorsStarship/pseuds/SteveTrevorsStarship
Summary: It wasn’t like the movies, where you close your eyes then open them in a new heaven. No, because Jim Kirk’s life wasn’t a movie (it was much too depressing). Instead, it was more of a slideshow; first he saw Spock, then, suddenly, Pike.Jim had enough experience with death to know the "I found myself with God in a calm field" cliche was bullshit. For him, it had always been darkness.But maybe it was because, back then, he hadn’t been looking for anything.





	Via Vitae

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so there's a part in this that's kind of offensive when it's talking about heaven and shit but just please remember these are how I feel James Kirk would view these things emotionally because of everything he's been through. I am not dismissing anyone's religion or anything, thank you, don't sue me. Also there's a few things in here that don't really make sense unless you read Everybody Knows, because of the characters from Tarsus and all that.

There was one thing that needed to be set straight: James Kirk did not enjoy sentiment. He’d had too many moments in which he wished he could just forget, but thanks to an eidetic memory and one too many childhood experiences that ventured way past shitty, he couldn’t. So the fact that people kept mementos to remember past experiences always baffled him.

But then again, wasn’t sentiment the exact reason he kept his scars? A not so kind reminder of a past where everything sucked, a reminder that he’d never let anything like that happen again? Such sentiment had resulted in him warping onto the Enterprise half-cocked with an idea to save Earth. Such sentiment had also resulted in him knocking out Scotty so he could die in the Warp Core.

Oddly enough, sentiment was the only thing on his mind as he sat in the Warp Core, Spock opposite of him. Sure, there was _scared_ and _what comes after?_ But on the forefront of his mind was live well and prosper, because Spock was his _friend_ and he felt sentimental because _this man stranded me on Delta Vega and honestly that’s kind of hilarious to think about._

And just like that, the sentiment died. Along with Jim.

It wasn’t like the movies, where you close your eyes then open them in a new heaven. No, because Jim Kirk’s life wasn’t a movie (it was much too depressing). Instead, it was more of a slideshow; first he saw Spock, then, suddenly, Pike.

Jim had enough experience with death to know the _I found myself with God in a calm field_ cliche was bullshit. For him, it had always been darkness.

But maybe it was because, back then, he hadn’t been looking for anything.

When Jim found himself able to speak using coherent words without bursting into tears, he asked, “What?”

Pike gave him a humored eyebrow raise and responded, “Intelligent response to being dead, son.”

Jim frowned. “Well, yeah, what do you want me to say? ‘Where am I? Am I in heaven? What’s the answer to life as we know it?’ Honestly Admiral, I don’t even know the question, so I’m not going to sit down and have an existential crisis the moment I’m dead. Mind helping me up?” Pike just laughed at his antics.

“Jesus Jim, you can’t even respond to death like a normal person, can you?” He held out his hand for the younger man.

Jim shrugged before he took his hand and pulled himself up. “You know me better than that, Admiral.” He looked around him. It definitely looked a lot more real than heaven. Instead of constant sun, the sun was setting, the clouds in front of it making the horizon glow an orange hue. They were standing in what looked like the shipyard in Riverside, which confused Jim. Riverside sure as hell hadn’t been his heaven.

He was startled out of his reverie when Pike smiled at Jim sadly. “I wish I had. I’m proud of you. Not for dying of course; you know McCoy is going to beat your ass the moment he gets you get back alive for that, by the way. You made the right decision with Khan and Marcus.”

“Thank you, sir,” Jim said in his best diplomatic voice, because he didn’t think he could be Jim Kirk without sobbing his eyes out (he’s a man, of course he cries.) He stopped for a moment before he realized, “Wait a minute--”

“Hey Mr. Chris, have you seen that tribble anywhere? Sammy really wanted to-- JT!” The almost familiar screech made Jim turn around in surprise, and he was tackled with a wild 5’4 tall 17 year old teenager.

“Erika,” Jim greeted, his lungs somehow being crushed by her, “You certainly haven’t changed.” _Yes, she has. She’s happy, and she’s dead._

“Damn straight, kid. Did you think I ever was? Come on!” She released him from the crushing hug and grabbed his wrist. She rushed him over to another part of the shipyard. Jim almost tripped over himself when he saw Sammy, Alicia, and Michael, the other kids from Tarsus IV. They all waved happily, looking the same age as they had back then. Sammy was innocently tying a sailor’s knot together, or at least, trying to, before he threw it at Michael, who kept laughing. Alicia watched the two with eyes as green as grass, although they tended to roll into the back of her head when Michael and Sammy decided a playfight was in order, with Sammy tackling the older teenager and Michael mock-falling on to the ground, fighting back in his own gentle way.

“See?” Erika grinned. “Everyone’s here, JT. I do have to ask though, why are you?”

Jim’s smile faltered. “A bad case of the flu?” He suggested humorlessly.

“Uh-huh. Well then, I’d like to see how you explain that to your dad.”

“My-- _what_ ?” Jim’s entire body snapped to attention when he heard the words _Captain James Kirk_ behind him, and he swung around to respond like he had when he was a cadet, but his words faltered when he saw a man he’d only ever seen in memorial services and the rare holo he’d find in the house. With serene blue eyes and blonde hair, George Kirk was every bit his father, but the kind smile he offered had been nothing like the one Frank had given him.

“It has a nice ring to it,” the man said, and Jim just stared at him, jaw dropped to the floor.

He barely registered Erika slapping him on the back of the head gently, but it still shocked him enough to gasp, “What?” and Jim could slap himself because _seriously, again?!_

The man chuckled at him, and Jim cracked his own smile. “You’ve grown into a fine young man, James,” George Kirk’s smile faded, “I just wish Winona had been the reason.”

“It’s alright, sir,” Jim said immediately, “She tried her best, with two kids and a dead husband. You can’t really blame her. She needed to help herself first. So did Sam.” Jim didn’t know why he was defending them to his dead father, and he didn’t know why he addressed him as _sir_ but he supposed it had something to do with the fact that he’d only ever known George Kirk as the hero who saved his life along with 800 others.

George smiled fondly at Jim. “Alright, then. Tell me, how’s the Enterprise?”

“By god, she’s beautiful,” Jim responded, with his own fond smile on his face. “Her and her crew. They’re all great.”

“It’s a shame you had to leave them. You’re a good captain.”

“I did it for them, sir, and I’d never renounce my decision.”

“I know that. I wouldn’t, either.”

Jim simply smiled. He opened his mouth to speak again, but he was interrupted by dark spots dancing across his vision. As he swayed, he heard George say, “Nice to meet you, James, but I hope it’s a while before I see you again.” Silently, he agreed. He had a crew to get back to.

That was his last thought before his mind was thrown into darkness.

With a grumpy doctor, a logically illogical Vulcan, a sassy communications expert, a very proud Russian, an even prouder Scott, and a ballsy helmsman, Jim couldn’t help feeling that the next part of his life was going to be a damn good one. And it certainly helped that every single one of his crew were more loyal than a German Shepherd, especially for their ship, their crew, and Jim Kirk.

Of course, Jim reciprocated the sentiment. 

He really was getting used to this whole sentiment thing. 


End file.
